1. |
November
04:32
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i was always there when you never were
standing in the fall cold steaming my breath
big shapes billowing out of my mouth
big shapes dissipate like all of our plans
i see you far away but standing right there
dressing up for halloween in another year
yonder go the young folks down to 6th avenue
yonder go the skeleton crew and the boys in blue
as the crowd goes so do we too
i can tell you’d like to leave here now
i wouldn’t wanna wait for me either
i wouldn’t wanna wait for me either
as the sun comes up and zombie makeup
melts in the new day
i swear november will be cleaner
as the leaves all die away
somehow i thought i knew you better than that
listening to all the classic cats
jazz music makes a film of manhattan rain
like how keeping close to you made me new again
but we stuck our noses where they shouldn’t go
looking through all the wrong keyholes
cut out like jack-o-lantern eyeballs
the monster just a candle casting shadows
as the crowd goes so do we too
i can tell you’d like to leave here now
i wouldn’t wanna wait for me either
i wouldn’t wanna wait for me either
as the sun comes up and zombie makeup
melts in the new day
i swear november will be cleaner
as the leaves all die away
as the crowd goes so do we too
i can tell you’d like to leave here now
i wouldn’t wanna wait for me either
i wouldn’t wanna wait for me either
as the sun comes up and zombie makeup
melts in the new day
i swear november will be cleaner
as the leaves all die away
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2. |
Drunk At The Party
04:11
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i never should have worn these canvas shoes
the rain soaks through my socks as i hold down buzzer C
it drowns in the muffled din, so i text “i’m here”
fifteen minutes later charlie rescues me
“man i’m so glad you could come.
it’s been too long, let’s head on up.
i gotta play the host, but go have some fun.”
i talk to a cute stranger while the room spins
i feel a confidence that’s hard to overstate
so deal me out a hand, i’ll go all in
what’s a winning bet but a lucky mistake?
it’s the bubbles in the blood
that seasick feeling rising up
what a fine night it is
isn’t this fun?
is this called living?
or am i confused and drunk?
is this called living?
am i doing something wrong?
it’s the sound making my temples thump
it’s the passing out
it’s the waking up
it’s the sickly stillness when the morning comes
is this called living?
or am i confused and drunk?
is this called living?
am i doing something wrong?
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3. |
Be There For You
04:20
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last week you packed up the house
so why am i just finding out?
your knees must ache from the up and down
and carrying boxes around
so selfless in your age
giving everything away
but i want for nothing now
i just wish i could have helped somehow
blood memory
i’m part of you
are you not me?
share yourself
how are you feeling?
an antique bell in turtle shape
his dusty box of tapes
you embalm yourself alive in gifts
while you unpack at your new place
where morbidly
you try to give away jewelry
that’s how i know
we need to be there
for you
let me be there for you
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4. |
The Garden
05:35
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picking us up after school
you’re flying out that night
i fall asleep on the long drive
sofie in the middle seat
izzy sad you’re gone a week
i don’t want you to come back
i’m not that allergic to the cats
waking up we have a peach smoothie
to start the day
at lunchtime we’ll put out a tray
pickles, turkey, bits of cheese
she keeps some root beer as a treat
he cleans his cameras falls asleep
this type of settled life suits me
the garden is a symphony
strings playing pastoral themes
potting roses in the garage
WQXR on
i cannot name the plants
the latin names all passed me by
but they’re known for it the county wide
my parents got married here
the rhododendrons in the air
right on these gazebo stairs
before we leave he poses us
for a photo there
as you load us into the car
i don’t want to go home
but i’m glad we are once on the road
‘cause lately he’s been acting strange
i can sense him slip away
but i know some things will never change
the apple pies and the bouquets
all the slides that he’d project
were photographic evidence
momentary then it’s gone
i didn’t understand that part
i’m shining a light through a translucent slide
but i can’t see what i missed through the years
when our grandfather died she moved down south
into a big empty house in a suburban development
to be closer to our mom’s sister’s family
leaving behind the plants in the garden
that i never learned to name
visiting one late july
she had a chore for me
the garden won’t tend to itself
three months later she died suddenly
so that’s one of my last memories
annoyed in the carolina heat
that bag of mulch was so heavy
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5. |
Viscera, Pt. I
01:48
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(instrumental)
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6. |
Viscera, Pt. II
02:13
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(my bad, i'm sorry)
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7. |
The Cost Of Living
04:01
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came out into the world
with a few friends and a degree
spent all my cash on it
but no one’s hiring
told us we’d keep rising up and up
trophies, ribbons, medals, love and such
even though we’ve been kicked in the shins more than enough
they just keep beating us up
dollars and dimes and cents
it’s been a while, where you all been?
finally on time with the rent
but the check bounced back again
being alive is a goddamn expensive feat
sharks salivate at the smell of my bleeding being
and the smaller the fishes the louder they promise some sort of relief
they found my skin tone threatening
now we’re facing down catastrophe
exxon wanted more money
now we’re dealing with a boiling sea
did anyone once even care for us?
all the old guard playing us for chumps
even though we’ve been kicked in the shins more than enough
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8. |
I Wanna Grow Up
06:56
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another day has come and gone
yet the dark will turn to light
the earth will spin itself around again
until we’re unstuck from the gravitron of life
i’ve been to south america
i’ve been dumped and i’ve cried
but there is so much more
that i’d like to try
i wanna change the way i dress
i wanna get myself out of debt
i wanna hit it big with my band
i wanna someday be a dad
i wanna see how the world ends
i wanna cook with you and sing
i wanna grow up
but i can’t do everything
i wanna learn to speak french
i wanna score the winner from the bench
i wanna get laid more often, man
i wanna feel less gross expressing thoughts like that
i wanna see how the world ends
i wanna cook with you and sing
i wanna grow up
but i can’t do everything
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9. |
Good Egg
06:21
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please forgive me, i fucked up again
i didn’t mean to act a fool with your friends
i very nearly pitched a perfect game
but the rain delayed my glory
i almost caught you having fun
but my big, dumb mouth kept on prattling on
giving voice to words that were best
left inside my head
it’s not enough to have good intentions
i gotta work to be the best that i can
a good egg
i just wanna be
a good egg
i just wanna be
a good egg
i just wanna be
the savage ways we get along
the savage things we have said and done
we savor what’s been salvaged from
the words we left unspoken
ain’t no way to replace the truth that
you’re a foreign city without a map
and i’ve been walking around
without a sense of where i’m goin’
all my dreams are all about you
i don’t ever wanna live without you
a good egg
i just wanna be
a good egg
i just wanna be
a good egg
i just wanna be
i never claimed to be a perfect human
all i want is to do right by you, yeah
a good egg
i just wanna be
a good egg
i just wanna be
a good egg
i just wanna be
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